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Can I just gush about how in love my partner and I are for a minute? Look at us, we’re fucking adorable. Our queer fat love is beautiful.
It means so much to me to have a partner who is as supportive and loving as Corissa. She encourages me to work hard on my goals and share myself with the world. I want to learn and grow with you all. I want to share info and resources and make this world better for people like me. @fatgirlflow has been so incredibly wonderful so far on this journey. Id love to hear more about other people’s goals, what are you working on? Whats a project youve got in the works? How bout a dream you want to come to fruition some day? #comfyfat #fatpositive #fatactivism #thisiswhatnonbinarylookslike
And I mean, we truly are two queer fat folks disgustingly in love.
In the midst of a super dreamy weekend together, complete with antique shop browsing and brunch, our heart eyes for each other were out of this world. But we still began to wonder, “How does this play out? Do we get to be like this forever? It feels too good to be true.”
Have you ever felt that way? So incredibly thankful for a human being you’re obsessed with? You love every single part of them, you communicate really well, the sex is stellar, and ya laugh till your abs hurt? (I knew I had abs in there somewhere…).
What a great feeling. Until its not. We both found ourselves going from thankful to worried. We’re afraid that our beautiful, dreamy, love is bound to end in tragedy. We are actually scared that our partner is going to die in a car accident or contract some life threatening illness. Queer fat couples should not be anticipating heartache and despair. Why are we doing that?
What Do We Got?
Queer fat people feel this way because of the lack of positive representation. Plain and simple. What would queer fat love even look like?
What do we even have? We are either dealing with a tragic end like Dana and Alice from The L Word, the complicated (and somewhat annoying if you ask me) weight loss/health centered dynamic like Kate and Toby from This Is Us or Mike & Molly, or…well I can’t even think of a popular fat and queer couple in the media. Sure, there’s a fat lesbian here and there. But how often do you see a fat queer woman portrayed as anything other than the punching bag for fat dyke jokes?
What Do We Need?
Queer fat people need representation of love that doesn’t end in tragedy. We need queer fat couples falling in love on television. We rarely get to see that! Queer fat babes dating instead of pining after forbidden love. Being intimate. Setting goals and achieving them. We want to see queer fat couples with success. And sure, it’ll be complicated and messy sometimes as all relationships are. But we desperately need to change that tragic queer love narrative to something a little more like:
Oh! And one more thing. We want queer fat old people! I grew up in Western Massachusetts y’all. I know fat queer older adults are out there. They show us younger queer fatties that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. That we do actually get to own a home, raise kids, have a business, and win awards and shit. Get stories like that out in the media! Lets start making films about queer fat people and couples that end with love, peace, and accomplishment.